You look at your lifelong friend who sits a couple of desks away from you. You would never believe that two people could say so much to each other just by catching each other’s eye. You remember your Nan used to say to you when you were a kid, “You know, you can’t heal what you can’t feel” – from memory you think it had something to do with boyfriends. The problem you’ve got is, you can’t feel anything. Nothing. Maybe it’s just a Monday thing, you shake yourself and get on with the task in hand, the task that you’ve now been doing every single Monday for the last nine school years.
By Friday you start to sense a bit of anger brewing. Tuesday, Wednesday and especially Thursday have not been good days. Ok, you can recognise that you don’t seem to laugh as much as you once did, in fact, that’s true of at home as well as at school. You’ve been paying attention to your feelings as the week goes on. There have been some rather uncomfortable aching feelings in the stomach at certain times and in these last two days, as your frustration has increased you definitely can feel a tightening around your chest. “Don’t inhale your anger to your chest”, you can picture and hear your Nan saying it. How you miss your Nan. It’s a kind of sense of loss or isolation which is silly because you don’t work alone, there are six colleagues in your office. But weirdly, it is like you are all alone, you’ve lost your relationship with your boss, your colleagues, your husband. The dog still loves you, but that’s probably because you give her a treat, often. The dog has more highlights in her day, than you do.
You’ve spoken to your Mum on the Saturday, your husband on the Sunday (but it was rather cut short by him shooting out for his golf), and the most important person you then spoke to was your sister, over lunch. Your sister says it, as it is. She can be a bit blunt at times, you might even go so far as to say bordering on cruel, but still, your love for each other is strong, you would trust her above anyone else. You are both in agreement, it is time for action. Ever since your son learnt to drive last year, you’ve had this nagging feeling in the back of your head about being a driving instructor. There was something about how his driving instructor went about her work that you could not help but admire. Time to make use of this savings pot of yours, invest in yourself for a change. Your sister formulates a plan, well, more of a to-do list really, but there are two places that you can contact to put the feelers out – one being BIG TOM.
What a difference seven weeks makes. You ended up signing up with BIG TOM, it felt like a genuine set up, you’ve always had a good instinct for these things – you could sense that they will treat you with care. You’ve registered with the DVSA, oh how exciting. You feel lighter, you’ve had a joke or two with hubby, he even hugged and tickled you the other day, which he hasn’t done for a long time. The feeling to start learning something new is quite extraordinary. You wish you had done this many years ago.
Much to do, so much to do, but you are quietly excited and feel a sense of drive or passion that you now recognise has been missing for a long time. Of the three qualifying tests, you have passed two. There have been two celebrations to mark the occasion, everyone is being so supportive. Going from being a salaried person to owning your own business is just so exhilarating it is hard to explain. But for now, you just need to see out this last term; three weeks to go at the school. Your colleagues have noticed such a difference in you already.
Your sister raises her glass to you, at your favourite Sunday lunch pub, you are officially the owner of your own driving school with the BIG TOM Driving School Franchise. A tear comes to your eye. “Little old me” you think to yourself, “who would ever believe it?” Of course, there is only one answer to that question, you picture your Nan smiling down on you and the tears of happiness start to flow.